Damn!

So my furnace went south on me today. I woke up to a very cold house, checked the breaker, changed the filter, and kept trying to start it. Short version: the ignitor was broken and I had to call a repairman. $202.00 later, it's working.

Johnny Carson

So Johnny left us today. Damn.

Golf today

It was good. Who cares if i never got above 29.

This stupid cover is for my sister, snowbound somewhere near Reno. She didn't think it was funny. 

Again, apologies to any golf publication that thinks I'm making fun of them. No. I'm making fun of ME! 

I really do apologize if there is a "Golf World" magazine. I mean no harm. This is my brother in Hawaii, where he lived at the time. I enjoy making up fake magazine covers, because I have no life. 

Second one. 

Another couple that I thought I might add in here. These are quite old, from about 1981, the negatives were lost, and the prints weren't well cared for. I still think they're kind of fun photos... in an odd sort of way 

Thought I'd throw this one in. It's a bit different.  

Johnny Cash: American IV, The Man Comes Around

I've been listening to this. Excellent. Very depressing, but excellent.

A farm... 

B & W beach... 

OK, I can't help myself. I have a few more, and hey, this is free, right? So you can't complain too much! 

OK, last one. I promise. Wine glasses. 

This comes up grainy, but It's a tree. 

Some kind of weed.. 

Now here I'm certain. This is a puppy. Or is it a cat....I can never tell. 

I'm reasonably sure this is a moose. Either that or a moose dressed as a flower. 

Yet another....bit of sand stranded on the coast.  

OK, I've been asked by my only real contributor to publish more photos. I'll put several up, w/ no regard to the time they were taken or merit. Here's one. 

Lasagne

So last night I cooked lasagne, waited and waited for it to be cooked. When trying to take it out of the oven, I turned the whole thing face down on my oven door. So now my oven is on self clean, trying to get rid of the thick slime of goo that hardened on it over night.

And I did so look forward to the lasagne...dangit.

One of 10,000 pics I took in my not so distant youth, when I believed it mattered and I was a photographer. What have I become, my sweetest friend? 

I'm really NOT feeling morose, honestly!

When your day is long and the night,
The night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough
With this life,
Well hang on

Don't let yourself go,
'Couse everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your days is night alone,
If you feel like letting go,
When you think you've had too much
Of this life,
Well hang on

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand
Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone,
No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life,
The days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much
Of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts,
Sometimes everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on, hold on...
(Everybody hurts... You are not alone)

I have not a clue

Why this came to mind, but I'm suddenly reminded of the insomniac agnostic dyslexic who stayed up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

I can't explain it.

HURT

I like this:

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Snowing

It's snowing here. I'm sick of winter. Bring on spring!

Another sketch I like. This was from about 1980. 

One of my many sketches. I like this one. 

Shifting the Sun

This is a poem that is very special to me. My brother read it at my Father's funeral.

Shifting the Sun


When your father dies, say the Irish,
you lose your umbrella against bad weather.
May his sun be your light, say the Armenians

When your father dies, say the Welsh,
you sink a foot deeper into the earth.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Canadians,
you run out of excuses.
May you inherit his sun, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the French,
you become your own father.
May you stand up in his light, say the Armenians.

When you father dies, say the Indians,
he comes back as the thunder.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Russians,
he takes your childhood with him.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the English,
you join his club you vowed you wouldn't.
May you inherit his sun, say the Armenians.

When your father dies, say the Armenians,
your sun shifts forever.
And you walk in his light.


Diana Der-Hovanessian

This is from my cartooning days. I'd think them up, and my cousin's husband would draw them. We had a lot of fun doing this, and I think we won an award for this one. We made 25 whole dollars on one that was later used in New Yorker magazine. That one featured a buffalo with a cell phone talking about his roaming charges.
Sometimes I was fortunate enough to appear in the cartoon. In this one, I'm featured on the right of the bandido (I'm the bony faced guy). Requests for autographs will be considered.

Questions Answered Here

As a public service, I've decided to begin a feature which I call "Ask Squirrel Boy." Here you can ask any question or questions that you may need answered, or that you just can't figure out the answer to. Kind of an "ask the expert" type forum, except I'm not really an expert on anything.

You can ask questions, and I'll provide answers. They may not be correct answers, but you'll have answers.

You can ask anything you like, from existential/philosophical type things, to physics, cooking, sports, weather, how to fix things, dining recommendations, you name it. If I don't know the answer (and trust me, I won't) I will make something up. Then you can use the answer and swear to it's validity because you read it on the internet: "Yes, it's true, I swear it! Kangaroos can live for 45 days underwater breathing only the air that they store in their pouches! I read it on the internet!"

And so forth.

WWPSD?

Alright already. I've decided to forego getting an Ipod and instead contribute to the relief efforts underway in the tsunami stricken Indian Ocean area. It's what Payne Stewart would have done.

Peace.

Sonnets

OK, here's my favorite sonnet in the whole world. Written by some guy named Bill. It's #24 in from his album "The Greatest Hits of Some Guy Named Bill."

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,—and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

New Year Resolutions

Well, another new year has arrived, kicking the old year down into the cellar, telling it to stay there. So, it must be time for some resolutions.

Since I don't ordinarily seem to be able to keep my normal resolutions (drink less beer, stay out of seedy bars, use the internet only for noble purposes, etc.) I thought I should make some resolutions that I can keep. To wit:

I hereby resolve to:
1) Be kind to midgets, should I ever meet any.
2) Not lick the tires of my car, no matter how tempted I may be.
3) Eat more fried pig fat.
4) Drink as much beer as makes me feel good, and then have more.
5) Have just a wee bit more beer.
6) Never, under any circumstances, eat angel food cake.
7) Not make fun of Republicans, unless they do something even more silly than normal.
8) Play as much golf as time and money allow.
9) Have just a tiny smidgen more beer.
10) Drink coffee, and plenty of it.
11) Not watch any Tom Cruise or Jim Carrey* movies.
12) Spend more money on gadgets and electronic equipment.
13) Buy an Ipod (see resolution #12)
14) Avoid going to churches that are recognized by those that organize them.
15) Let my laundry pile up.
16) Not put away shoes unless company is coming over.
17) Be nice to my friends (If I ever get some).
18) Refrain from putting on diapers filled with cottage cheese and riding my tricycle in the house.
19) Avoid eating marmots.
20) Not paint my ceiling with images from the Sistine chapel.
21) Not intentionally cut off any of my toes or fingers.
22) Take as much time off of work as practical without getting fired.
23) Appreciate naked women.
24) Not use my cell phone ever, but continue to pay a monthly fee for the freedom it brings me.
25) Not stick my head in a bucket of marmalade.
26) Continue to be afraid of heights greater than two feet.
27) Snore loudly and often when sleeping.
28) Pass wind when convenient and time allows.
29) Avoid dusting.
30) Not scratch anyone's noggin unless they ask me to.

There. I think 30 resolutions should get me through, at least for the first week or two. I may have to make monthly resolutions, rather than annual, just so I can keep up.

*Thanks to Lorraine for teaching me how to spell "Carrey" correctly.