Golf In May
In Idaho, you never can depend on the weather, but today was good. It was partly cloudy and nicely warm. I shot a 92, which isn't great, but considering my last few rounds, it was pretty good. I was happy to play with my good friend John, and this time he didn't beat me. We had Chorizos at the turn, and all was right with the world. The sky was partly cloudy, mostly nice, and it even became a little hot. That's when the delirium set in.
I was partially dehydrated; the sun was hot.
We were on a short par 3 with no hazards but sand on the left and right of the green. As I stood over the ball, the ground began to swirl. I realized at that point that I had had no beef jerky for over 12 hours. There were no beers to be had anywhere.
I turned to John and asked him if this was really fair. He confirmed that it was. Knowing that the Pope had died just recently, I tried to focus on the shot. Visions of hamsters dressed in lederhosen danced through my brain. I stepped back to focus on the shot and tried to get some rhythm going. In my mind was playing "Missed Me" by the Dresden Dolls.
I swung my club. Miraculously, the shot landed on the green within 10 feet of the cup. I turned to John, but he had become a moose dressed in purple underwear. I knew at that point that I needed water.
Trying the only skill that I could remember from my cub scout days, I ran to the nearby 7-11 and bought a couple of bottles of water. What would I have done without such cub scout training?
I drank deeply from the bottled water, John returned to a human, and all was good...except the rest of my game, when I was somehow convinced that I was John Stuart Mill, who was not a very good golfer. Luckily for me, I did win every discussion with John regarding Economics for the rest of the afternoon, although, to be honest there were no discussions of Economics.
I think next time I'll drink more water ahead of time.
Or maybe I'll stay home.
I was partially dehydrated; the sun was hot.
We were on a short par 3 with no hazards but sand on the left and right of the green. As I stood over the ball, the ground began to swirl. I realized at that point that I had had no beef jerky for over 12 hours. There were no beers to be had anywhere.
I turned to John and asked him if this was really fair. He confirmed that it was. Knowing that the Pope had died just recently, I tried to focus on the shot. Visions of hamsters dressed in lederhosen danced through my brain. I stepped back to focus on the shot and tried to get some rhythm going. In my mind was playing "Missed Me" by the Dresden Dolls.
I swung my club. Miraculously, the shot landed on the green within 10 feet of the cup. I turned to John, but he had become a moose dressed in purple underwear. I knew at that point that I needed water.
Trying the only skill that I could remember from my cub scout days, I ran to the nearby 7-11 and bought a couple of bottles of water. What would I have done without such cub scout training?
I drank deeply from the bottled water, John returned to a human, and all was good...except the rest of my game, when I was somehow convinced that I was John Stuart Mill, who was not a very good golfer. Luckily for me, I did win every discussion with John regarding Economics for the rest of the afternoon, although, to be honest there were no discussions of Economics.
I think next time I'll drink more water ahead of time.
Or maybe I'll stay home.
posted by Some Guy at 6:59 PM
4 Comments:
In my opinion, one of greatest things in life is when you find someone you have known your whole life still has the ability to surprise you. I went to Denver last week to see Nine Inch Nails. Opening for them was a fairly obscure goth band called the Dresdon Dolls. Imagine my surprise when my 45 year old dad writes a blog about golf and references them. Way to go, Dad.
Hey, well, you have to keep up on things, even as you see life slowly passing you by. I could have referenced Juliette and The Licks, M.I.A, 311, Elliot Smith, Modest Mouse, Morphine, Jurassic 5, Wilco, Super Furry Animals, Beulah, Neutral Milk Hotel, Fool's Garden, or any of the other stuff I've been listening to lately, but it just wouldn't have been honest. I'm a big fan of the Dresden Dolls. And Elvis and Beethoven. It's all good.
Impressive list. It's good to know that other's appreciate Indie bands. :~)
Well, thanks. Like I said, you have to keep up on these things.
Otherwise you'll wind up all dried up and warty and no one will notice when you die, until the neighborhood starts to smell really bad.
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