New Year Resolutions, part II

I guess it's that time of year again, when we all must make some sort of new year's resolution. Here go mine:
1) Never kiss a marmot, unless it is a really cute marmot
2) Try to avoid suicide, unless it seems like a good idea
3) Wipe, usually
4) Try not to offer to wipe other people
5) Don't get molested by priests
6) Try to get molested by Michelle Pfeiffer
7) Get a pony. A really shiny one
8) Eat more fish
9) Bathe at least fortnightly
10) Pretend, at least once a week, that I'm a very very small creature and can scurry under furniture without anyone noticing, and practice it
11) Take more photos and become famous for doing so
12) Follow Earnest Hemingway's lead.